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What's so intelligent about intelligence design?
(excerpt from the Church Of Critical Thinking)
posted on 13th February, 2005
Some of you may not be familiar with the term "Intelligent Design." That's what Creationists started calling Creation in order to make it sound more scientific. Why? Well, so school boards would give it serious consideration for teaching in the classroom, of course. Teaching religion in public schools is against the rules. But teaching Intelligent Design? Well, that doesn't sound like religion. It must be okay, then.
So all right. You want to call it Intelligent Design? I don't care. And I'll explain to you why it doesn't belong in the classroom another day. Today, though, I have a request for my religious readers. If you're going to call it Intelligent Design, then please explain to me: What the heck's so intelligent about...?
Plate Tectonics?
Even if you want to claim that the Earth is only 6,000 years old - or, heck, even if you want to say that the Earth was Intelligently Designed millions of years ago - you can't deny things we can clearly observe are happening today. We can look at the Earth and see that, regardless of how it was formed, the Earth is made up of sloooowly moving pieces. If I were creating a big ball of Earth for my new creatures to live on, I'd probably create a nice solid mass. I'd sprinkle a final bit of snow on my highest peak and proudly sigh, "There. Finished." Just for laughs I might even add "...and it is good." So why didn't God (I mean, the Intelligent Designer) finish the job?. Did he forget to glue down all the parts? Why would he leave it unfinished like that? I mean, those parts are moving sooo sloooowly that it'll be millions of years before they get anywhere interesting. Surely the messiah will have come by then and brought us all to heaven, right? So what's up with the plate tectonics? That doesn't seem like very intelligent design to me.
Asteroids and Meteors?
I've put things together before. I confess that sometimes I have little extra bits and pieces left over. I can't tell you how many model planes I thought I finished as a kid only to find leftover bits still in the box. Did God the Intelligent Designer have the same problem? He finished the planets, then looked over at his do-it-yourself universe kit and realized there were all these little pieces still in there? What to do? I imagine the thought process must've been something like, "Um... I'll just put these... uh... right over... there... kinda floating around between those other planets... yeah, that'll be good." At least he could have been intelligent enough to put them someplace where they wouldn't ever smash into his shiny new planets, couldn't he?
Magnetic Poles?
Okay, this one I just don't get. Why magnetic poles? Why at all? God (yeah, yeah, I know) The Intelligent Designer looked down at his big round blue planet and said, "You know what would be really neat? If it were magnetic." What? Why would anyone come up with that? Well, maybe he knew that his creatures would be smart enough to figure out they live on a planet with magnetic poles, and they would invent compasses to help them get around. That must be it. Hey, ya know what? That actually is kinda intelligent. Magnetic poles to help us get around. Huh. Intelligent Design just might have something to it after - hey, wait a second. I just remembered something. The magnetic North Pole isn't actually at the North Pole. It's waaay off, in the middle of the ocean. And it's moving!. The magnetic North Pole is moving at approximately 40 kilometers per year. According to CNN, it's leaving North America (the Canadian Arctic - betchya didn't know that's where it is, didja?) and headed for Russia! Good thing Santa already has that red suit. So... why did this Intelligent Designer give the planet magnetic poles?
These are just three things, but I'm sure other people out there have examples of things about the universe that don't seem to have been designed very intelligently (I mean, what's with the stars that we can't even see with the naked eye? Why even bother making those?).
And for you religious folks, sure, there are many things about the Earth that seem intelligent (how neat that we inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide, while plants inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen!) but what about these other things? You can't call it Intelligent Design without expecting that all of it was designed intelligently, right?
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